329: ADHD, Narcissism, and Emotions in Relationships with Jared DeFife PhD

329: ADHD, Narcissism, and Emotions in Relationships with Jared DeFife PhD

Do you have trouble maintaining relationships? Listen as Eric and his guest, Dr. Jared DeFife Ph.D., discuss one of the messier complexes, twist yourself in knots aspects of ADHD, which are emotions in relationships, narcissism, and more on this episode of ADHD reWired.

Jared is a clinical psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. He has a private practice that specializes in men’s mental health and therapy for adults with ADHD. Dr. Jared is a former clinical fellow of Harvard Medical School and has been a media expert for Psychology Today, Psychotherapy Networker, The Huffington Post, BBC News, and many more.

Dr. Jared speaks about his learning disabilities and the social relationship issues he had in school. He talks about how his emotional life transformed once he was medicated. Dr. Jared also shares how hard it can be to live with a person with ADHD and narcissism. 

Dr. Jared discusses the common complaints he hears from partners in his practice, and the difference between ADHD self coping or management and narcissism. He speaks about what you can do to regulate emotions, and Eric talks about ways to run interference with them. Dr. Jared shares how cognitive elements can affect how you feel.

When your spouse talks to you, do you hear what they are saying? Dr. Jared talks about what a partner can say to be helpful, and maybe you can say, ‘I heard you, and I am working to do better.’ Dr. Jared shares some very enlightening information around dealing with relationships and ADHD. If any of this resonates with you and your partner, this episode could be a tool to keep you together.

You’ll learn:

  • [02:08] Welcome to the show, Jared!
  • [03:18] Jared shares his ADHD story.
  • [05:04] When did you first realize you had ADHD?
  • [06:45] They discuss the apparent signs of ADHD that were missed through school.
  • [07:31] Eric and Jared speak about their learning disabilities.
  • [09:00] Jared speaks about his social relationships in school.
  • [11:44] Jared shares the journey into the psychology field.
  • [13:14] When Jared got medicated, his emotional life changed drastically.
  • [16:13] If you are worried that you are a narcissist, you are not a narcissist.
  • [21:06] Jared discusses how hard it is to live with a person with ADHD.
  • [23:40] Do you think we can develop conscientiousness through active practices?
  • [25:40] Jared shares the two most common complaints he hears in his practice.
  • [28:25] Jared speaks about the reasons partners talk about narcissism.
  • [31:34] What is ADHD coping and self-management, and what is pure narcissism?
  • [34:43] Do emotions sometimes take over, and you do not understand what to do with them?
  • [39:09] Jared discusses what we can do about regulating our emotions.
  • [41:02] Have you ever been in a self-imposed time out in your relationship?
  • [43:43] Eric shares what someone in his coaching group shared about putting a timer on their discussion.
  • [46:04] Eric talks about running mental interference with emotions.
  • [47:20] Jared speaks about how cognitive elements can affect how you feel.
  • [49:04] Jared talks about what a partner can say that can be helpful.
  • [52:46] Can you say, I hear you, and I am working to do better!
  • [54:13] Jared, thank you so much for being on the show!
  • [56:14] If you are a regular listener, consider becoming a patron click on our Patreon tap at

Find Jared:

Jared DeFife
YouTube | Tiktok

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