27: Improv to Improve Communication and Relationships

Interview with Mike Fedel

Recorded at the 2014 ADDA conference in Orlando, FL

Mike Fidel is interested in understanding ADHD & Relationships

He’s a professional perfomer, with a backround in comparitive philosophy. he has ADHD.

Focuses on the values of

• Play

• Improvisation

• Being able to stop on a dime and change the direction of where we’re going.

An example of Mike and his Wife – Planning a vacation to Chicago

• He made list of 20 plays and other art and theater institutions he wanted to see

• His wife’s list consisted of the beaches she wanted to go to.

Solving disagreements by

• Needing to let go of your agenda, and really engage in the dialogue

• Relationships are 100/100 (not 50/50)

Goals for the Conference to learn about what other people are working on in the area of Sexuality and relationships

Comparing Different models

• Mellisa Miles – ADD effect on marriage

• Linda Roggli

• Arthur Robbin – Model of relationships CBT based

• Ari Tuckman – ADHD between the sheets

Commonalities

• Listening

• Negotiating

Intersted in

• The spouses of people with ADHD.

• They need a forum too.

• Both people are part of the solution.

• During a workshop he gave this interstersting question was asked: How the ADD person in the relationship avoids feeling baby’s and control.

with ADHD to do something.

(This actually works great for everyone, but it’s extra important for some of us with ADHD. You can ask both of our wives… it’s much more effective for everyone involved.)

• “Would you like to…?”

• “Would you consider doing…”

• “Can you help…?

Saying Thank You is powerful and appreciated even for the little things.

• Yes, say thanks for taking out the trash.

• Why… because you really do appreciate it.

ADHD is…

• Not something you’re not gonna fix

• It’s something you’re gonna live with it.

Mike has a favor to ask:

• “If you want me there at 6, tell me 5:30”

Visit his Blog/Website for a “peek inside an ADHD brain”

• http://mikesscratchpadd.wordpress.com/

Mike Fidel’s 2014 Performance at the ADDA Talent Show

Mike Fidel’s 2013 Performance at the ADDA Talent Show