308: January 2020 Q & A with Brendan Mahan and Will Curb

Have you ever heard anyone say, “lazy is learned helplessness brought about by a lack of skills”? This is just one of the topics we cover in our monthly Q & A session with guests Brendan Mahan and Will Curb. We are taking questions from you the listener about situations that you want to talk through. It doesn’t matter if it’s personal or professional, we are here to give you our perspective and see if we can help you find some answers. 

We start with a question about doing tasks when you don’t feel well and how to hit a pause button around these tasks instead of a stop button. Getting accountability groups set up when you want to make sure you are accomplishing what you set out to do, how to ask a friend to be your accountability partner, and how to set up ground rules about what accountability is and isn’t. It is always easier to have an accountability partner that is doing something similar or at least in the same ballpark as what you are doing.

A mom of a 7th grader asked the team how she should respond to his failing grades and his resistance to taking the prescribed medicines. Laura asks for tips on how to not beat yourself up over a failure to complete calendar tasks, and Jennifer from the U.K. wants to know if they have ever had someone on the podcast from an area where the resources are limited. Jennifer is also curious about the team’s response to podcasts that are selling products to manage ADHD like essential oils as an alternative to medicines.

Listen in as we cover a wide range of topics, and we provide some creative takeaways no matter what stage you’re in with your diagnosis. Listen in as we not only discuss your questions but also the struggle we still have dealing with our ADHD.

Your Resources:

You’ll Learn:

  • [02:19] Welcome our monthly Q & A with Will Curb and Brenden Mahan.
  • [03:00] Madeline starts off with a question about getting tasks done when she is not feeling well.
  • [04:40] Will and Brenden give their feedback on what is a priority when they are not feeling well.
  • [07:01] Eric speaks about having the flu and the response he got when he couldn’t get an episode out.
  • [08:50] Beware of the guilt, shame and anxiety feelings that can surface.
  • [12:08] Blake has an issue with his accountability and is asking for help.
  • [14:35] Eric asks if there are certain things he has found helpful in the past.
  • [15:45] What is the purpose of your need for accountability?
  • [18:05] They discuss setting up a daily task list and sharing it with someone.
  • [20:21] The follow up is a crucial thing with accountability. You need to report back to someone.
  • [23:21] Alexis is asking how do you choose a non-therapist to be your accountability partner?
  • [23:41] Eric speaks about needing to know what accountability is and what it isn’t.
  • [24:29] Will says that setting up ground rules, in the beginning, is very helpful.
  • [26:20] Do you need an accountability partner to be doing something similar to what you are doing?
  • [32:02] Andrew feels either everything is great or everything is terrible and wants to know if they have any tips to help to level this out.
  • [33:57] Eric wants to know what time he is going to bed versus what time he is falling asleep and when he is waking up.
  • [36:34] Do you regularly? Do you eat correctly?
  • [39:08] When you have ADHD you have to think about your brain, do things that self-monitoring.
  • [40:20] A mom shares that her son is struggling with school and resistant to meds, she is asking for ideas.
  • [41:35] Brenden says that she needs to find out where the breakdown is at school and activate his school team to help figure this out.
  • [44:09] Do you know where the skill deficit is? What is going on right now?
  • [46:51] Brenden gives an example of how it feels to kids when they are trying hard, but the outcome doesn’t show it.
  • [48:46] Laura wants to know how to manage the tendency to ignore your calendar to-do list?
  • [50:03] When you realize you haven’t looked at your calendar, look at it, don’t beat yourself up. Be more resilient, get up when you fall down.
  • [52:03] If you can only get one thing done today, what would that be?
  • [52:44] Will shares his tricks for getting back on track when he falls down.
  • [54:18] Don’t beat yourself up because you missed a few days on your calendar starting with today.
  • [58:48] Jennifer wonders if they have ever had anyone on their podcasts from different areas like the U.K. about the limited resource.
  • [1:03:08] Do you have any tips for people looking for evidence-based resources on ADHD?
  • [1:05:05] Drug-free advertising for all-natural approaches for ADHD keeps people from trying the medication that could get their lives together.
  • [1:07:11] Brenden gives his insight into alternative ways to manage ADHD.
  • [1:10:30] Will believes that the more things claim to cure, the less it probably cures.
  • [1:11:26] Eric says that they support science and are curious about magic is what he believes is the consensus.
  • [1:12:03] Jennifer, thank you for your questions!
  • [1:13:16] Will and Brenden thank you as always.
  • [1:13:31] If you’re a regular listener, consider becoming a patron and on our Patreon at www.ADHDreWired.com

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