Mend or Move On? Navigating Toxic Relationships with Kate King (567)
Episode Summary
What makes a relationship truly toxic, and how do you know whether it can be repaired or whether it’s time to walk away?
In this episode, Eric is joined by licensed professional counselor, board-certified art therapist, and Radiant Life Project founder Kate King, author of Mend or Move On: A Guide to Healing or Leaving Toxic Relationships. Together, they explore toxic dynamics in romantic relationships, families, friendships, and workplaces, including why ADHDers and other neurodivergent people may be especially vulnerable to people-pleasing, fawning, conflict avoidance, and staying too long in painful situations.
Kate shares her framework for the seven traps that can keep us stuck, along with practical ways to recognize patterns, communicate needs, build tolerance for difficult conversations, and decide whether a relationship has the mutual willingness needed to mend.
Show Notes
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- How to distinguish a truly toxic relationship from a relationship that is simply struggling
- Why your body may recognize a toxic dynamic before your brain fully accepts it
- How familiar dysfunction can feel safer than unfamiliar change
- The difference between healthy interdependence and codependency
- Why people-pleasing, fawning, and conflict avoidance are often rooted in nervous-system safety patterns
- How to begin practicing “easier hard things” to build tolerance for difficult conversations
- How to assess whether a relationship, family dynamic, or workplace can be repaired
- Why mutual willingness is essential if a relationship is going to mend
Kate’s seven traps of toxic relationships:
- Buy-in
- Comfort
- Powerlessness
- False ownership
- Unhealed trauma
- Avoidance
- Codependency
Guest
Kate King is a former licensed professional counselor, board-certified art therapist, award-winning author, radiant life coach, and founder of The Radiant Life Project. She is the author of The Radiant Life Project and Mend or Move On: A Guide to Healing or Leaving Toxic Relationships.
Learn more about Kate, her books, and her work at theradiantlifeproject.com.
Resources Mentioned
- The Radiant Life Project: theradiantlifeproject.com
- ADHD reWired Coaching & Accountability Groups: coachingrewired.com
- One-on-one ADHD coaching worldwide and therapy in Illinois: adhdrewired.com
- Adult Study Hall: adhdrewired.com
- Support ADHD reWired on Patreon: patreon.com/adhdrewired
Patreon Update
The monthly Patreon Coaching Call, available to Patreon supporters at the $25/month level and above, is held on the last Tuesday of each month. The call has moved from 4:00 p.m. Eastern to 2:00 p.m. Eastern.
Chapters
- 6:01 — Introduction and Guest Bio
- 7:10 — Kate’s ADHD Connection: Growing Up with an ADHD Parent
- 11:31 — Identifying a Toxic Workplace
- 15:44 — Mend or Move On: Where to Start
- 20:54 — Personal and Family Relationships
- 21:59 — Three Signs of a Truly Toxic Relationship
- 23:24 — The One Requirement to Mend a Relationship
- 30:46 — Building the Courage to Leave
- 33:26 — The Seven Traps of Toxic Relationships: Introduction and False Ownership
- 36:33 — Buy-in, Comfort, and Powerlessness
- 37:42 — Unhealed Trauma and Shadow Work
- 38:53 — Avoidance and Codependency
- 43:17 — Kate’s Relationship and Healing Journey
- 45:48 — Spotting Gaslighting in a Partnership
- 48:53 — You Don’t Owe Anyone Anything
- 51:42 — Where to Find Kate’s Work
