289: Sex, Intimacy and ADHD with Ari Tuckman

Ari Tuckman is back on the show to discuss his new book and new findings regarding how ADHD affects sex and intimacy. Ari is a psychologist in Pennsylvania working to help others live their best lives. Many times, living your best life requires understanding your sexual needs and wants and how they affect your partner or spouse.

Ari has spent a great deal of time researching how people with and without ADHD relate to and process sexual activities and intimacy. In his new book ADHD After Dark, he shares the results of a survey taken of those with and without ADHD to reveal their levels of sexual eagerness. He then dispenses this down to share how varying levels of sexual eagerness affect intimate relationships and how to find ways to connect in the gaps.

This conversation is full of great information about the true core issue of any sexually deficient relationship… communication. Ari shares some amazing statistics, I share some really terrible dad jokes, and together we hope to inspire you to use better communication skills to create a more unified sex life.

Your Resources:

• More Attention, Less Deficit Podcast
• More Attention, Less Deficit by Ari Tuckman
• Ari’s Website
• 17: Ari Tuckman on Sleep, Meds, Self-Esteem & He-Man
• 55: Ari Tuckman: ADHD Sex and Intimacy
• 94: ADHD, Sex, and Intimacy Survey Results, with Ari Tuckman
• Bonus Episode: One Of 15 Million (CHADD)
• She Comes First by Ian Kerner
• ADHD After Dark by Ari Tuckman
• CHADD Conference 2019

You’ll Learn:

• [01:59] Welcome back to the show Ari Tuckman!
• [02:51] Ari is back to discuss sex and intimacy for those with ADHD.
• [03:24] Ari shares some of the recent shows he’s gone to.
• [03:56] Why does Ari study ADHD and sex? 
• [05:58] Romantic and sexual satisfaction overlap and affect one another.
• [07:24] Ari has been studying the difference between willingness and eagerness.
• [09:03] How do you address the core issue of communication to improve sexual interaction? 
• [10:22] What is emotion regulation and how can you employ it? 
• [13:03] Ari reveals several of the differences between the sexual interactions of those with ADHD and those without.
• [17:25] Which categories did people with ADHD rate themselves higher in on a survey of sexual eagerness.
• [20:36] What considerations should a person who is beginning a relationship think about? 
• [23:35] Learn about the differences between ADHD and non-ADHD regarding masturbation, kinkiness, and monogamy.
• [27:25] How does masturbation affect your life and sex life? 
• [28:50] Where does kink fit into this spectrum? 
• [31:31] What is consensual non-monogamy?
• [40:46] Does Ari’s research touch on cheating and sex addiction? What does it reveal?
• [46:33] Is porn use for those with ADHD really about porn?
• [47:50] The problem with labeling things an addiction…
• [50:06] Did Ari open up the survey to same-sex couples? 
• [51:10] Ari shares 5 tips that men and women with and without ADHD could use to better their sex lives.
• [56:37] Learn more about the CHADD conference for this year.
• [57:47] If you’re a regular listener, consider becoming a patron and click on our Patreon button at www.ADHDreWired.com