Sarah grew up in urban poverty with domestic violence, alcohol, drugs, and all before she turned 14. She had a hard time in school and with making friends, but her tenacity got her through, she ended up graduating from college with an MBA in finance. For the last 11 years, she has had a career in higher education.
She discusses her childhood, the abuse, and being diagnosed with ADHD, OCD, and depression. She tells us why her son hasn’t seen his grandparents in 4 years, and why she hasn’t told her family about the way her father treated her.
Stories like Sarah’s need to be told so that maybe her words can help someone heal. She is a strong, resilient woman because of and in spite of her upbringing. Listen in as she explains how she feels and why she feels like it was her fault. I am sure there are people we know who this will resonate with maybe suggest that they listen to this episode with you.
- 02:49] Welcome to the show, Sarah!
- [03:25] Eric and Sarah discuss her childhood and growing up a victim of domestic violence by her father.
- [05:41] Mental Health in her family is never discussed.
- [06:32] How is your relationship with your dad now? Do you have one?
- [07:43] She tells us about an incident when she was caught holding hands with a boy walking down the street, and her father reacted violently against her.
- [09:55] Her dad’s brother was the only one that knew what happened and he was an alcoholic.
- [10:40] She thinks that people would think it’s strange that she has a good relationship with her dad.
- [11:27] Sarah speaks to us about her father threatening her son; he no longers sees his grandparents.
- [13:23] Have you ever felt that if you tell someone about the abuse, it will blow up everything you have tried to build?
- [17:20] You can’t numb the hard stuff if you want to feel the good stuff.
- [18:39] Have you ever sat in the muck? How long did it take you to get out?
- [19:20] Sarah speaks about her and trying to deal with her suicidal feelings.
- [21:20] If you could go back and talk to your 10-year-old self, what would you say?
- [25:41] No one will ever know how awful and painful this was for Sarah, but it is ok to have strong feelings and to see that it wasn’t her fault.
- [27:33] Once she was diagnosed, everything started making more sense. Why wasn’t this diagnosed years sooner?
- [29:48] Sarah reminisces about staying up all night with her mom watching tv and cooking 3-course meals at midnight.
- [33:30] Shame grows with silence, secrecy, and judgment.
- [38:10] It took Sarah 10 years to get her undergrad degree, and she got her MBA after she had her son.
- [40:40] She tells us about a guy she dated in high school that was controlling that she stayed with for four years. She failed classes because he followed her to college and stalked her.
- [45:46] Even the most resilient people need to stop and take a minute to say, this is hard!
- [47:00] How has the adversity you have faced shaped your ability to show up for life’s challenges now?
- [49:52] Sarah says sometimes you have to be ok with not always being ok.
- [50:40] Eric’s hope for Sarah is that she will continue working with her therapist and continue to tell her story and keep healing.
- [51:58] Eric will put some more resources on his website.
- [53:03] If you’re a regular listener, consider becoming a patron and on our Patreon at www.ADHDreWired.com